Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Possible Life Formula for Happiness.

I'm taking an online class this semester.  Since we don't get to meet our professors in person really, we were asked to create an "About Me" essay that captures the essence of who we are.  In the process of writing mine, I realized that there is a very simple formula that I've been trying to follow my whole life.  I think it's a formula that could work for happiness for almost anyone.



ABOUT ME

I grew up surrounded by green pastures filled with cows and corn, rolling blue-green mountains, and a predominantly Protestant religious landscape.  I quickly felt at home amongst the people there, but realized I was set apart in a way, too.  Bridgewater, Virginia has about 8 Mormon families living in its boundaries of varying levels of activity, and many of my classmates in elementary and middle school had never even heard of the religion before.  There were only 2 other members of my church in my high school senior class of 300 students.  Turner Ashby High School (named after a famous southern Civil War general from the area) had a traditional “Drive Your Tractor to School Day,” a very large Future Farmers of America club, camouflage clothing school spirit day (during which I wore zebra or cheetah print), and every year in the spring there would be fenced in calves on the front lawn of the school which the farming students would take care of.  I consider the environment around me at that time to be an integral part of who I am, although I threw my lot in with the theater and choir kids then.

                I made friendships and saw people who had experiences far beyond where my own self-governed, safe choices had taken me.  This quickly opened my eyes to where certain choices lead people, and what kind of lifestyles lead to lasting happiness.  I observed many members of my church in the area, and I saw how happy they were living the principles of the Gospel, as compared to much misery caused by the lifestyles of some of my fellow students and their parents.  As soon as my freshman year in high school, it started to become clear to me what choices would lead me to happy paths versus unhappy ones.  I knew at that early age I needed to live life deliberately.

I knew what choices I needed to make morally, socially, and I began shaping my paradigms to match what kinds of actions I wanted to take in life.  However, this came at some cost, such as not going on a date until after I had already graduated from high school since I didn’t want to get romantically involved with someone who wasn’t a member of my church for fear of falling in love with someone who I wouldn’t eventually be able to go to the temple with. My first date the summer after my senior year was a hike in the woods with a boy from my stake I had known for a while who lived an hour away. He would become my husband four years later.

Making deliberate choices became much more difficult once I left home to go to school at BYU Provo.  It soon became clear that I had no idea what I should do with relatively limited a focused talents.  All I really knew was that I excelled at art and writing, two skills not in short supply and difficult to find a job with.  My parents encouraged me to be practical, so I had some idea of going into communications with an art minor.  However, just before I would have applied to advertising, everything fell into place for me to go on a church mission for 18 months. Previous to my freshman year in college, a mission hadn’t been on my radar at all.  However, before the lowering of the age requirement for missionaries I felt impressed in the temple that I needed to prepare to serve in a few months when I would be 21. I was soon thereafter assigned to serve in the Philippines, Manila mission.

           My mission quickly reinforced to me the idea that “decisions determine destiny.”  I saw many families torn apart by infidelity, abuse, addictions, and the like.  Despite the poorest of life circumstances that many Filipinos suffer, when they were introduced to the Gospel many of them chose to accept the joy that was being offered to them.  Knowledge and action for them made all the difference in their happiness; not the actual circumstances around them.  People really can choose to be happy, I observed at the time. 

I believe that a happy life can be summed up in simple equation.

Morally good choices + a positive attitude = Happiness and joy

I really think it’s just about that simple.  Here I am at the school of my choice, with the major I eventually chose (news media), with the husband of my choice, living a life that is composed of millions of choices I’ve made as purposefully as I could.  So many choices, but they’ve all added up to one choice for me so far – and that is the choice to be happy.

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